GLEEve Me a Break

Yes, I realize my subject is borderline ridiculous. The word 'glee' makes an -ee- sound and should therefore NEVER be morphed into the word 'give' even if someone's trying to be funny...but hey, it's Saturday night and I'm sitting here in my sunken living room with SNL on in the background and my cute little bear of a dog now falling asleep in my lap. Can't you cut a girl a break?

Here's what it comes down to...Glee was boring this week. I'm sorry. I never thought I'd say it. But it's true. It really was. I mean, HOW many slow songs can one FOX show possibly cram into 48 minutes? Well, a lot apparently. And one of those songs happens to have been one of the first ballads I ever decided to officially retire from my "Fave Songs to Sing at Karaoke" list. Yeah, even I decided this song was dead to me after hearing too many other young teenage wannabes try to tackle it AND FAIL.

What song is this, might you ask? That would be "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. As in "I AM Beautiful". As in the song also known as "I'm ok with me and you should be too. So don't make me hate myself." As in EVERY MESSAGE EVER CONVEYED BY A TEENAGE SITCOM OR ONE-HOUR DRAMA so listen up, Glee writers, DON'T BE LIKE EVERY OTHER SHOW ON TV, OK? We get it. You're writing about teens and they're probably struggling with confidence issues and blah-blah-blah but don't shove this kind of predictable sentimental crap down our throats. We like your show because you DON'T normally do that. You just let us laugh and sing/dance around our living rooms. And that's fun.

So don't ruin that for me, ok? Don't make me collapse on my couch and take a breather. I LIKE the singing. I LIKE the dancing. I don't, however, like hearing Mercedes talk about her weight issues. No one does. She's fat. We get that. We've gotten that from day one of the show. And as much as I'd like to say, "Aww poor thing. She wants to lose weight. Let's hope she does." I REFUSE. She should NOT lose weight...EVER. We all know that overweight black women tend to be blessed with amazing pipes. So listen, that's what she gets for being heavy. She gets a stellar voice. If she were a twig, she'd probably be tone deaf. Hey, that's just how things work.

The point is...stick to the jokes and the music...oh and the cute little love triangles. Don't force me to care about the other stuff. I'll resist.

I'm just sayin'.